Today I Got There

My work environment continues to get worse.  Hard to believe.  This morning I hit a new low and I finally just got angry.  Big, huge, overwhelmingly ugly angry.  It's not something I'm used to.  As part of a leadership training course a few years ago, I underwent all sorts of personality and conflict management assessments.  At the midpoint of the week-long course, we each had an hour-long session with a psychologist to discuss the results of all the assessments we had done.  I can remember this woman looking right at me and telling me that she had never seen anyone with a fuse as long as mine.  When I asked her what that meant, she explained that it takes a VERY long time for me to get profoundly angry (it might only happen a few times in my life), but that when I finally get there, people die.  It's a big deal.  Yikes!  Obviously she was being dramatic, but I definitely understood what she meant.  It takes ALOT to really make me mad, but when I'm mad it's best to stay out of the way.

Today I got there.  It's taken two and half years, but I made it.  The end of my rope.  I'm done.  They've got my body going through the motions for the next four months (you're SO right T), but they don't have me.  The Professor has left the building.  I might only be numb, but it feels like it's over.  All of that anger burned the emotional attachment right out of me.  I spent lunchtime looking around for meaningful things to do with myself and as the universe would have it, the monthly volunteer orientation  for the hospital is tonight.  I'm going.